Game Day Chit Chat

December 28, 2011

For decades, studies have argued that women are chatterboxes.  One study conducted by an esteemed academic indicates that on an average, women use 20,000 words per day compared to the scant 7,000 uttered by males.  Hmmm. Maybe, just maybe.  Regardless of any actual scientific proof of this pattern, I would contend that anyone who believes this phenomenon to be true has never turned on the flat screen on……..GAME DAY……. because if you tune in any time after daylight, you will witness the male persuasion doing nothing but talking.  All day.  They begin early and in groups.  In fact, they show up in threes and fours, hunkered down behind what is actually a desk but looks like a bar.  The guys, all dressed up, powdered and sprayed  do nothing but chat away.  As they lean over the bardesk,  behind them, swirling beams of multicolored lights punctuate every syllable, such as in a disco. And they talk and they chatter. Blah blah blah.  They talk about what is going to happen at THE BIG GAME and what should and shouldn’t happen at THE BIG GAME and what they would do if they were coaching this particular BIG GAME and what they did do thirty years ago at their own BIG GAME.  And then they talk some more.  They bump their gums all day long until finally it is time for THE GAME.  Then they talk and chatter as they watch THE BIG GAME and they critique every move and decision. They pontificate every injury and play until  finally, finally the BIG GAME is over.  So now they can analyze what just happened for the last four hours of THE BIG GAME and they can say that they predicted it or they should have predicted it, or that what they predicted didn’t come to fruition because some stupid coach or quarterback or receiver didn’t have the sense to do what they would have done at the BIG  GAME.  Isn’t it obvious??!!! And they jabber and chat and pound their fists on the desk/bar thing as the gyrating lights send the other men around the country into verbal orgies because their air time is free of charge and the view from the Lazyboy has given them an insightful advantage.  As the day grows dark, all over the country, their jaws flap like flags in a hurricane until finally….FINALLY… is over.  Until next week anyway.  Hmmm.  And throughout this process, women such as me have sat quietly reading a book.  I guess it all depends on who the woman is and who the man is, but really, on GAME DAY, it seems obvious to me that the boys claim the higher score.  Truly, on GAME DAY the boys win.